Fast Times at The Hive
by L. Alex Greene
Summary: The one where Sollux is a frustrated DD, Eridan is a hot bartender, Karkat is a done-with-everything DJ, and just about everyone is gay. M for language and future sexual content. Primarily Erisol with SO MANY OTHER SHIPS.
1. Chapter 1

**I wanted to have the whole story finished because I didn't want to upload it in pieces, but...that would take forever. So here.**

**I'm tracking a tag for this on Tumblr ("fast times at the hive erisol") and I have anonymous reviews enabled (as always) so you don't have to be a site member to leave me a review!**

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He's exhausted, he has work in the morning, and he doesn't usually drink, so why the Hell did he let Aradia talk him into going to a bar?

She's a regular at The Hive, but Sollux has never been there before. Normally, she goes with her boyfriend, but apparently he's visiting his family this weekend, so she called Sollux and asked him to go with her instead, and because he is a loving, supportive best friend, he agrees to accompany her and be the designated driver of her dark-red beat-up Camry. That doesn't mean he's happy about it.

"And it's karaoke night!" Aradia gushes, oblivious to his silent fuming. "The DJ will play just about anything you want, and—_oh!_—one of the bartenders there has a phenomenal voice and dances on the bar top! It's so cool!"

Sollux can't carry a tune in a bucket, and he gets nervous talking in public, let alone singing, and when he gets nervous, he lisps. He can pretty much guarantee that he will be sitting out karaoke night in its entirety. Then again, Aradia is a pretty horrible singer, too, but what she lacks in skill, she more than makes up for in enthusiasm and also just being generally pretty. He doesn't know how she's so confident, but he wishes it was contagious because he prefers to spend his Friday nights in, debugging code. He has a serious problem with socializing.

"Ooh, parking space!" Aradia calls out, pointing dramatically. Sollux pulls in easily and takes the keys out of the ignition, and she reaches around in the back seat before pulling out a brown fedora and pulling it low over one eye, smushing down her long, dark waves. The hat clashes oddly with her tight red dress and black heels, but Aradia can somehow pull it off.

"You look good," he says, and she smiles brightly and kisses his cheek. He's probably got her favored dark-red lipstick smeared on his cheek, but he leaves it. Maybe it will imbue him with some of her confidence.

"Here!" She produces another fedora from the back, black this time, and drops it on his head. "You look adorable!"

"Uh, no." He takes it off and tosses it into the backseat. "I don't do hats. My head is shaped weird."

"Oh, you're no fun!" she says, but she lets it slide. Besides, she might be able to pull off fashion disasters, but he can't. He's wearing a yellow T-shirt, a black hoodie, and gray Dickies, and he doesn't really think a fedora will go with it.

She hops out of her side of the car, runs to his side, and grabs him by the hand, tugging him toward the entrance of the brick building on their left where a glowing green neon sign above the door reads The Hive. It looks like a seedy little joint, and it probably is, so he braces himself for a night huddled in the corner and allows Aradia to drag him inside.

To his surprise, though, the inside is far better-furnished than the outside would hint. The walls look like black marble and the ceiling is covered with mirrored tiles. Some of them have writing on them, as though someone climbed on a ladder with dry-erase markers and went nuts. There are tables and booths as well as seats along the bar, and all the cushions look rather plush, although a few are obviously stained from spilled drinks. There's a strobe light going by the DJ booth, and the DJ's headphones are about the same size as his head. All of the bartenders are young, too, and instead of being dressed in some sort of uniform, they all seem to be wearing whatever they want. The music is even something he recognizes, some pop love song from the early nineties.

All in all, it's not bad. He's seen worse.

The best part is that there's no cover charge. Aradia sails in past the bouncer with spiky red-and-black hair checking IDs (both of them are twenty-two, so they get in without a problem) and heads right for the DJ booth. The DJ has a half-finished drink in front of him and he looks up as they approach.

"Karaoke starts at ten-thirty!" he says, shouting to be heard over the music.

"I know! I wanted to make a request for the first song now, though!"

"You're too late! The fishbowl twins already called it!"

Aradia sweeps her fedora off her head and dramatically smacks her forehead with the heel of her hand. The crack resonates, although not very far, and she puts the hat back on. "Alright, well, then I'll get in line with everyone else!"

"What do you want?"

"'Iris' by The Goo Goo Dolls!"

"Done and done!" The DJ looks at Sollux. "What about you?"

"I don't sing!" Sollux answers, his lisp mercifully absent.

"Noted, Sharkbait! Alright, Aradia, you're second after the chum buckets!"

"Thanks, Karkat!" she says, waving at the DJ, and then she grabs Sollux again and resumes dragging him around—this time, they head to a table so Aradia can finish doing her makeup. All she's wearing is lipstick, and though Sollux thinks she's naturally pretty without it, she's nothing short of drop-dead gorgeous when she's all made up.

He's just started to wonder who "the chum buckets" are when Aradia finishes putting away her makeup (where, he can't tell—one minute, the table is spread with eyeliner and mascara and foundation and about a thousand other forms of cosmetics he can't identify, and the next minute, it's gone) and stands up. "I'm getting a drink. Want anything?"

"I'm the designated driver."

"Yeah, but you can have one. We're going to be here for awhile, after all."

He sighs. "Screwdriver," he says, since he's almost positive they don't have mead. Orange juice and vodka is a safe bet, anyway—vodka is essentially flavorless, and he likes orange juice.

"Sure thing! Be right back!"

She heads toward the bar and he watches her go, his gaze drawn to one of the bartenders about ten feet from where Aradia begins placing her order with a different bartender. The one that Sollux is looking at is stupidly hot, smirking at something while he mixes a drink for the customer in front of him. He looks like he's wearing a ring on each of his fingers, which Sollux finds a bit excessive, but they flash interestingly as he shakes the silver shaker and then strains the contents into a glass filled with ice. He's got thick-framed glasses and his dark hair slicked back, and there looks to be a streak of color running through his bangs, but Sollux can't tell what color it is from where he's sitting. The guy looks like a hipster, but a strange sort of one. A fancy hipster, with a bow tie and a white dress shirt and a vest. There's a name tag attached to the vest, but again, Sollux is too far away to read what it says. He's intrigued, though.

Then again, the bartender looks like he might be a massive douchebag. He sort of has that look about him, one that says, "I'll be nice to your face but rude to your back." And besides, a guy that hot probably has a boyfriend anyway. Or a girlfriend, he reminds himself. After all, the guy looks fairly flamboyant, but that doesn't mean he's actually gay or even bisexual. He could be completely straight.

Or maybe not. As if sensing his gaze, the bartender slides his eyes from the customer at the bar to Sollux. The smirk on his face deepens and he winks before looking back at the customer.

For some reason, that one gesture has Sollux's heart racing. He can't decide if he wants to punch or kiss that smirk off his damn face, but both options seem pretty appealing. He doesn't do either, though. Not only would punching the bartender probably get him kicked out and kissing him would be incredibly forward (and maybe also get him kicked out), but Aradia is coming back with a drink in each hand.

"Screwdriver for you," she says cheerily, sliding his drink across the table.

"Thanks." He eyes it, shrugs, and takes a large gulp.

That ends up being a mistake because apparently there's only enough orange juice in it to color the vodka. He nearly gags but manages to swallow it. "Holy shit, AA, this is like nothing _but_ vodka!"

Aradia giggles, taking a sip of her Red-Headed Slut. "Yeah, Feferi makes her drinks really strong. Equius likes them."

"He would," Sollux grumbles. He stirs his drink a little and takes another tentative sip. Yeah, there's orange juice in it, but it's clearly only decoration. "I'm guessing you didn't tell her I'm supposed to be DD tonight."

"Nah, but like I said, we're going to be here for awhile. And I _will_ get you to sing before we leave." The way she grins indicates that there's no room for him to argue. _We'll see about that_, he thinks.

"Alright, ladies and germs, it's ten-thirty, and you all know what that means," a voice says over the loudspeakers. "I'm Karkat and I'll be your DJ this evening, just like almost every other fucking night in this hellhole—" There's the sound of good-natured jeering coming from the other patrons and a few of the bartenders when he says that "—and first up, we have Feferi and Eridan, so let's give 'em a big hand."

Two of the bartenders come out from behind the bar—the guy who winked at Sollux earlier, and a girl with a black halter top and a dark pink, possibly fuchsia skirt that skims her knees. Her dark hair is pinned behind her head at her bangs, forming a sort of crown, and the rest of her hair cascades down her shoulders in a tumble of waves. They nearly sprint to the DJ booth to take their microphones, and now that they're in better lighting, Sollux can see that the streak of color in the guy's hair—_Eridan_, he reminds himself, his name is Eridan—is purple, the same color as his vest and bow tie. Actually, the vest is purple with black pinstripes, and his pants are an inversion of that—black with purple pinstripes. His shoes look almost like bowling shoes, purple on the sides with a stripe of blue running through the middle, but Sollux is pretty sure they're designer. He hates himself for being attracted to him.

The few people who had been gathered on the dance floor in front of the DJ booth clear a space as Eridan and Feferi take their places in front of the booth—they're obviously regulars who know how this show's going to go. A few moments later, a rhythmic drum sequence starts playing, followed by a bass riff that Sollux vaguely recognizes but can't place.

Then Eridan opens his mouth and sings the first line, and Sollux melts. _"She says she's no good with words, but I'm worse."_ Aradia was right—his voice is amazing, like honey for his ears.

"_Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue,"_ Feferi sings back, and her voice is just as good, just as sweet, a lovingly soprano counterpoint to Eridan's smooth tenor.

"_Weighed down with words too over-dramatic—"_ He takes two steps away from her and turns easily to face her.

"_Tonight is, 'it can't get much worse' versus 'no one should ever feel like'—"_ She turns to face him as she sings and glides to close the gap he's made between them, and then they're singing together, their voices mixing and harmonizing perfectly, their free hands—his right, her left—sliding together, fingers interlacing, as they start dancing together.

"_I'm two quarters and a heart down, and I don't wanna forget how your voice sounds."_ He twirls her around as they sing, and her skirt flares out, showing off more of a frankly good-looking leg._ "These words are all I have, so I write them, so you need them just to get by."_ The music drops for a moment, leaving a small guitar part, before Eridan and Feferi pull back together, spinning around the edge of the dance floor to applause._"Dance, dance, we're falling apart to half-time. Dance, dance, and these are the lives you'd love to lead. Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me."_

They split apart and she dashes for the bar. He chases after her until she climbs from a bar stool to the bar top and he waits on the floor, singing alone again._"You always fold just before you're found out."_

She grins as the bartenders behind her begin clearing off the bar's surface. Singing her line, she holds out her hand and helps him up, too._"Drink up, it's last call, last resort, but only the first mistake, and now—"_ He's fairly tall, and his hair nearly touches the ceiling above them, but she's about six inches shorter than him. They hide the difference well when he crouches down slightly to mirror the twist of her hips as they both sing,_"I'm two quarters and a heart down, and I don't wanna forget how your voice sounds. These words are all I have, so I write them, so you need them just to get by."_

Her hand flies out behind him and grabs him by the belt. It's a rehearsed move, though, because he spins on his heels and bends over, allowing her to run her hand over his back. There's a huge smirk on Eridan's face—he clearly knows how hot the whole show is turning out, and Sollux wonders if he's this much of a flirt all the time or if it's just tonight._"Why don't you show me little bit of spine you've been savin' for his mattress, love?"_ she sings. At her last word, she seizes his collar and yanks him back up to practically croon it into his ear, although she still has her microphone to her lips.

Eridan turns sharply to face Feferi again, and they're heading further down the bar, all footwork and a purposeful rocking of hips that's one of the most erotic things Sollux has ever seen. He feels like he's watching a striptease, except no one is undressing._"Dance, dance, we're falling apart to half-time. Dance, dance, and these are the lives you'd love to lead. Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me."_

The music seems to take on a more sinister tone for a moment, and Feferi bends him over again, this time backwards, running her hand over his chest as she sings to him,_"Why don't you show me the little bit of spine you've been savin' for his mattress?"_

They straighten up and begin their shuffle the other way, Eridan moving backwards now as she moves forward, and he sings back,_"I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me."_ Sollux could swear that on the words "crawling into bed with me," Eridan is looking right at him—after all, the bartender turned his head in his direction—and his face heats up. It really seems like Eridan is flirting with him.

But then the moment is over and the music goes back to how it was and Eridan and Feferi are singing together again._"Dance, dance, we're falling apart to half-time. Dance, dance, and these are the lives you'd love to lead." _ They're standing at the center of the bar now, and they both start backing up, heading toward their respective ends of the bar. Feferi sings,_"Dance, this is the way they'd love—"_

"_Way they'd love—"_ Eridan sings back.

"_Dance, this is the way they'd love—"_

"_Way they'd love—"_

Now at their own ends, they sing together,_"Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me." _They dance, their motions identical and opposite, shaking their hips and shoulders in a deliberately sensual way. They're so in-sync, it's clear they've rehearsed their moves often. _Or they're fucking_, Sollux realizes. It's entirely possible that they're dating or something and they just work that well together. He's jealous for a moment—but then, Eridan _had_ winked at him earlier, right? And he'd deliberately caught his eye during that line about crawling into bed. That has to mean something._"Dance, dance. Dance, dance. Dance, dance. Dance, dance."_

The music ends abruptly to cheers and applause, and Eridan and Feferi bow and hop off the bar. They bound back over to the DJ booth to return the microphones and Sollux looks over at Aradia, wondering how to ask the question he desperately wants the answer to, but before he can even think of how to word it, the DJ says, "Another fantastic performance by the chum buckets," and Eridan turns and yells back, "Hey! Fuck you!"

"I'm just fucking with you," the DJ says lazily. "Hey, Feferi, can you bring me another Jack and Coke? Thanks. Next up, please welcome Aradia to the floor."

Aradia excitedly jumps up and hurries to fetch one of the microphones, leaving Sollux at the table alone again. To preoccupy himself, he takes another swig of his Screwdriver and purposely avoids looking anywhere near the bar, where Eridan and Feferi have just resumed their places. He _wants_ to look, he wants to get a good eyeful of the bartender and maybe drool over him a little, but he doesn't want to get attached. After all, he doesn't know anything about him—there's more than a good chance that he's taken. It would just be Sollux's luck to fall for a guy who was straight or taken or both.

Then again, there's nothing wrong with just _looking_...

He glances sideways to see Eridan lining up six shots for a cluster of people at the bar. He's half-biting his lip but still somehow managing to smirk, and Sollux feels like smacking his forehead on the table. It isn't fair for Eridan to be that hot.

Meanwhile, the music has started up again and Aradia is singing. She's actually not bad, nowhere near as bad as Sollux is, but after what seems like a professional performance by Eridan and Feferi, it's clear she's an amateur. Still, she sings her heart out and though she doesn't really dance, she gets a thunderous round of applause when she finishes and takes a quick bow. The DJ calls up someone else and Aradia returns to the table, beaming with pride.

"You sounded really good," Sollux says.

"Thanks! Not as good as they were, but..." She shrugs happily. "I can hold my own."

He bites his lip. He wants to ask, but it's really none of his business... right?

"Okay, now what?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Huh?"

"You have that look on your face. That 'I-want-to-ask-a-question' look. So ask."

He sighs. "Alright. Eridan and Feferi, are they... um, together?"

Aradia blinks for a moment before grinning, and before he can beg her not to laugh, she's doubled over and giggling. It's embarrassing and he hides his face. "Stop," he whines.

"I'm sorry, I just... oh, my God, okay." She straightens up, still grinning. "Which one?"

"Which one, what?"

"Which one did you like?"

Sollux's ears burn. Both of them are attractive from an objective standpoint, but he can't help being stupidly attracted to Eridan. "Eridan," he mumbles.

"Well, then, you're in luck, since Feferi is already dating someone. She and Eridan are just friends. Like us, actually, but with more singing and dancing."

_And money_, Sollux adds silently. From the rings Eridan wears, it's pretty clear he's got cash to spare. "And he's... single?"

"As far as I know."

That's half of the problem down. Well, a third. The other two-thirds involve Eridan being into guys and, most importantly, liking _him_. Otherwise, this is pointless. "Is he..."

"Gay?" Aradia guesses.

"I'll take bi, too. Or pansexual or basically anything that's not straight."

She thinks it over for a minute. "You know, I'm actually not sure. You'd think that, with how he dresses, he'd probably be pretty gay, but I really don't know." She glances to the side. "You could ask him yourself, though."

Sollux feels himself freeze. That's something that someone only says when a certain someone else is coming towards them, and he's not too sure he wants to be so close to Eridan—he's hot and Sollux might forget how to talk, or worse, get so nervous that he starts to lisp.

"One Red-Headed Slut for the lady," a voice drawls, and it's definitely that smooth tenor from before. He can't help but look as Eridan slides another drink toward Aradia, and then Eridan looks at him. "Anythin' for you?"

"I'm the DD," he manages to stutter. From this angle, Eridan's eyes look purple, too—maybe it's the bow tie, though. It's purple, after all, with what looks like tiny lightning bolts in yellow. Not only that, but whatever cologne he's wearing has Sollux wanting to grab him by that stupid tie, push him against the closest wall, and shove his tongue down his throat.

"Water? Coke?"

"Water's good." Thank God he doesn't lisp.

Eridan smiles. "Be right back, then."

As he heads back to the bar, Sollux finally lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and sets his head on the table. He's never been this taken in by someone he just met, and he doesn't like how much he wants to watch Eridan's ass. He saw plenty of it during his performance so he knows it's aesthetically perfect as far as asses go, but he wants to keep looking.

"Oh, my God," Aradia giggles. "You have a _huge_ crush on him!"

"He's really hot, that's all," Sollux grumbles.

"Calm down. I think he was flirting with you."

That doesn't calm him down. The thought simultaneously thrills and scares him. _What if he was?_ He's not exactly unfamiliar with romantic overtures (from both boys and girls) but it's definitely been awhile since the last time anyone showed any interest in him. And then there's the fact that Eridan probably has people falling all over him—Sollux won't be able to compete if he even tries.

A girl with white-blond hair that the DJ introduces as Roxy takes the microphone and a rap song starts playing. She's stumbling as she walks, but her voice is surprisingly clear and strong as she starts rapping along. _"These ideas are nightmares to white parents whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings, like whatever they say has no bearing, it's so scary in a house that allows no swearing to see him, walkin' around with his headphones blaring..."_

Sollux shakes his head and goes back to Aradia. "It doesn't really matter," he murmurs.

"Oh, stop it. You're cute—there's no reason to be down on yourself."

"Cute" isn't the same as "hot." "Cute" is bumblebees and kittens. "Sure."

She sighs. "Finish your drink."

He obliges, downing the rest of his orange-flavored vodka quickly.

And then Eridan returns, sliding a glass of water across the table toward him, and he collects their spent glasses. "If you guys want anythin' else, just let me know. Or Fef, if you wanna die a' alcohol poisonin'," he adds with another grin.

"Thanks, Eridan," Aradia says. "By the way, you sounded great tonight."

He flushes with pride and runs his hand over his hair even though it's gelled back and doesn't need to be fixed. "Thanks—you were great, too."

"Not as good as you. Sollux was pretty impressed, too," she adds deliberately.

_Oh, fuck no._ At the sound of his name, Sollux's eyes widen—but then Eridan turns his head to look at him, his grin turning mischievous. "Oh, really? Did you bring us a virgin tonight, Ara?"

"Yep! I've been trying to get him to come with me for awhile, but I only managed to convince him tonight since Equius is out of town."

"Oh, yeah, I was wonderin' where he was. Horuss is gone, too."

"Yep, both of them went up to see their parents. They should be back by Sunday night, but obviously neither of them is going to be here this weekend."

"Naturally." Eridan sets the tray with their empty glasses onto the table, slides out a chair, and spins it around to straddle it, resting his arms on the back. "But I'm glad to see you made it here anyway."

"Are you kidding me? I _live_ for Friday nights at The Hive!" Aradia jokes. She takes a swig of her drink. "Hmm. Needs more Jager."

Eridan looks overly-offended by her remark, so much so that Sollux can tell it's an act. "More Jager? I'll have you know that's the finest a' drinks I ever made!"

"I'm just kidding, Eridan, it's great."

The two of them keep talking, and Sollux wonders if she's deliberately keeping Eridan at their table for some reason. He can't tell—Aradia seems natural as she speaks to Eridan, like she genuinely wants to talk to him, but then again, she has been known to fuck with people and this would be the perfect example. And then there's Eridan, sitting half-turned away from him, moving his crossed arms from the back of the chair to the table. His rings catch the scattered lights in the bar as he lightly drums his fingers on the table. Sollux can't help but sneak glances at him, his glass to his lips. Every so often, he catches Aradia's eye and she grins at him, but if Eridan notices, he doesn't acknowledge it.

"Alright, I better get back to work if I don't want Kan breathin' down my neck," Eridan says, breaking Sollux's trance. "I'll be back later. Me an' Fef are probably gonna be singin' somethin' else later on, too. You should sing," he adds, glancing at Sollux and taking him completely by surprise.

"I can't sing," he says, and mentally punches himself. The combination of nerves and just being near Eridan makes him lisp, and he knows Aradia notices when she quirks up her eyebrow.

"I don't believe that," Eridan says teasingly. Before Sollux can contradict him, though, he stands up, collects the tray, and heads back to the bar.

Aradia covers her mouth to disguise her giggle. "Oh, yeah, hon, he was _definitely_ flirting with you."

"He talked to me for like two seconds." Fortunately, his lisp has disappeared.

"Yeah, but when he _was_... That was adorable."

Sollux rolls his eyes and takes another drink of his water, wishing he wasn't the designated driver so he could actually drink more alcohol tonight. He has a feeling he's going to wish he was hammered by the time this is all over.

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**I imagine that Roxy is a huge fan of Eminem.**


	2. Chapter 2

**(My browser shut down randomly while I was typing notes. I am very angry.) Contained in this update: pale Roxidan, lesbians, porn, and references to other ships.**

**Many thanks to pendaly, Rand0mAn0nym0u2, DarkBlueMahogany, Aufschrei, wrath and angels, MistressLife, and cro for your patience and your reviews to the last chapter!**

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For Eridan, the evening ends rather abruptly when Roxy Lalonde, one of the regulars, staggers out the door around one-thirty. Rufioh shoots him a concerned look before escorting her back inside, and Eridan snags his keys from under the bar and tells Feferi, "I'll be back as soon as I can."

This is all too normal for him. Roxy has a tendency to drink to excess, and while she's never become belligerent that he's seen, he worries that, on her walk home, someone may see her as an easy target and try to attack her. They've all gotten into the habit of stopping her before she can leave so Eridan can drive her home instead. Once, a few months ago, they would take turns, but it's become obvious by now that the only one she really likes is Eridan, so now that responsibility has fallen squarely on him. They're a tight-knit group, though, and he doesn't usually mind.

_Usually._ Usually, Aradia brings that beefcake of a boyfriend with her, not this tall, scrawny, awkward-looking, adorable blond in the black hoodie. Sollux—_that's_ a name he's not likely to forget anytime soon—slouches and shoves his hands in his pockets and lisps when he gets nervous, but he's hot in an innocent puppy sort of way, and with that honey-blond hair of his falling into his eyes, it takes all of Eridan's self-control not to reach out and tuck it behind his ears.

He hopes Sollux and Aradia plan on sticking around a little longer. If he can manage to ask Sollux for his number before they leave, too, he'll call the evening a resounding success. The possibility that Sollux might be straight only give him pause for a moment, too—Eridan is far too self-assured to feel embarrassed about hitting on a straight guy. His own sexuality can be summed up with "If they're hot, I probably want them," and Sollux definitely falls into that category. He might feel awkward for all of about five seconds if Sollux turns him down, but he won't sustain any permanent damage. Either way, though, he's bizarrely, incredibly attracted to Sollux.

So even though he really doesn't want to leave, he gamely helps Roxy to his car, buckles her in, and finally pulls out of the parking lot.

"'m really sorry 'bout fish—this," Roxy slurs, resting her head against the window. "I dunno why I keep doin' this t' m'self."

"It's okay," Eridan reassures her. "I don't mind."

"N—no, not jus' 'bout drivin' me 'round, I mean 'bout _ev'rythin'_. 'm a fuc—fuckin' mess 'n people keep cleap—_cleanin'_ up after me 'n 's not fair t' you guys."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," he says gently. He lets go of the wheel for a minute to squeeze her shoulder. "I don't know about what goes on in your life, Rox, but I don't think you're a mess. Yeah, you probably drink more than you should, but you're not endangerin' anyone by drivin' or somethin' so I don't really have a place to condemn."

She makes an indistinct noise and yanks on the shoulder strap of her seat belt. Before Eridan even has the presence of mind to ask her what the hell she thinks she's doing, she pitches to the side and rests her head in his lap.

"Um... you okay?" he asks, acutely aware of how close she is to his dick, and while he has no romantic or sexual inclinations toward her, it's still an awkward position to be in.

"Yeh," she says. "Your lap jus' looked real comf'terble, 's all." She yawns. "If I jus' pass out here 'til we get home, will you mind?"

"Just don't drool," Eridan half-jokes.

"No promises," Roxy says with a smile, and he knows he can't hold her to any type of promise right now anyway.

She lazily unwinds the pink scarf from around her neck and spreads it out on his lap to use as a pillow. After a moment of silent contemplation, she puts her feet up on the seat, her shoes pink Converse the same color as her scarf and her irises. She _loves_ that pastel pink of Betty Crocker frosting about as much as she loves that shirt with the pink cat face on it (he's actually pretty sure she has about ten of those shirts considering how much she wears them). The only thing she wears that isn't pink or white is her makeup—her eyes always lined with black eyeliner and mascara and her lips painted a dark purple that leaves stains on the glasses.

She actually does end up falling asleep on the twenty-minute ride to Roxy's house. He continues steering with one hand, stroking her white-blond hair with his free hand. A slow, sleepy smile spreads across her face and she murmurs something, curling up and resting her hand on his thigh, and it's almost cute. After a few minutes, she begins snoring softly and Eridan has to fight his giggles.

When this whole arrangement started, he had been worried that she would end up puking in someone's car, but in seven months, she has yet to throw up (at least that he's seen), which is a relief. Still, he's been as drunk as Roxy before and knows that sudden starts and stops don't mix well with being utterly hammered and tries to keep the motion of the car smooth.

They finally arrive in front of the Lalonde home and he gently lifts Roxy's head off his lap. She murmurs in distress but opens her eyes as Eridan slides out of the car. "You're home, Rox. Just gimme a minute an' I'll help you out."

"Okay," she says quietly, unbuckling her seatbelt. He quickly scurries to the other side of the car, opens her door, and locks her right arm around his neck.

"Come on, attagirl," he says. She stumbles out, but her arm around his neck keeps her from falling over. He puts his arm around her waist to help her keep her balance and nudges the car door closed with his knee.

He's done this so many times by now that he's not even worried about waking up anyone in the Lalonde home—both Roxy's sister Rose and their mother are almost assuredly awake, the former waiting for Roxy and the latter probably about as drunk as her. They ascend the steps and Eridan raps sharply on the door. Roxy lets out a giggle and presses her face to his chest. "Mmm, you smile—_smell—_real good."

He chuckles. "Just for you, honey."

"Mmm, stu—_such—_a gentlemen, walkin' me to m' door 'n smeel—seal—spell—ah, fuck it."

Eridan snorts with laughter as the door swings open and Rose takes in the sight of them. He's always taken aback with how similar Rose and Roxy look—they can't be mistaken for anything other than sisters—but how different they actually are. Rose is only three years younger than her sister but from what he's seen, she's far more capable of caring for herself than Roxy or even their mother Rona. She stays at home to watch out for them, though.

"Thank you for bringing her home, Eridan. Come on, Roxy," she says gently, wrapping Roxy's other arm around her neck. Eridan lets go of Roxy as Rose takes over. "Let's get you into bed, huh?"

"Maybe a li'l drinkie first?" Roxy says hopefully.

"I think you've had enough for the night." She focuses her attention back on Eridan. "I really appreciate this."

"It's not a problem."

"I'll make certain she doesn't die of alcohol poisoning."

"That would be nice," he half-jokes. He waves and turns, heading back to his car. It's always an adventure to drop off Roxy.

* * *

He covers the deafening silence on the way back to The Hive with the Sunny Day Real Estate channel on Pandora. It's quintessential emo hipster music, but he can't help but enjoy it. It's not just the image he has to maintain—he genuinely likes the guitar chords and the way that a lot of their songs melt from melodic to nearly punkish and back.

It's nearly two-thirty by the time he gets back, just in time for last call. He whips into a free parking spot, takes his phone from its mount on the dashboard, and hurries inside.

Karaoke is over for the night—it ends at two every night—and now Karkat's spinning slow songs for the enjoyment of a few couples on the dance floor. As he heads back behind the bar, he looks around for any sign of Aradia or Sollux, but he doesn't see them. Disappointment floods through him. He really wanted to at least give Sollux his number before they left, but it looks like he missed his chance. He doesn't like the idea of giving his number to Aradia to pass onto him, either—if he's going to get rejected, he wants to be rejected to his face. He sighs and slips next to Feferi, who's lining up two shots of Everclear for her and her girlfriend Nepeta.

"Hey, fish! Roxy get home safe?" Feferi asks. She stashes the bottle behind the counter and returns to the bar.

"Yeah." He watches the two of them clink their shot glasses together and knock them back. Nepeta has a strict policy of only drinking Everclear, so even though she's probably sober, it doesn't look like it affects her. Feferi still winces slightly. "I take it Ara an' Sol already left?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, they left like... ten minutes after you did? Some_fin_ like that..." Her eyes widen as his question sinks in. "Why?"

"W-well, I kinda w-wanted to talk to him," he says nervously. He trips over his Ws and Vs when he gets nervous. Both Feferi and Nepeta are giving him grins that can only be described as predatory. Feferi is his best friend and absolutely loves knowing all the gritty little details of his personal life, and Nepeta is a self-professed matchmaker who keeps track of the romantic relationships of her friends on what she calls her "shipping wall," a whole wall of her bedroom devoted to names and relationships. Eridan saw it once. Sometimes he has nightmares about it.

"Whatever for, fish?" Feferi asks innocently.

"Jesus, because he's cute an' I w-wanted to give him my number, okay?"

Nepeta grins smugly. "Well, if he knows Aradia, I can have Equius find out about him," she says. In addition to being Feferi's girlfriend, she's best friends with Aradia's boyfriend and Horuss's brother Equius. Eridan has no doubt that if anyone can dig up information on Sollux, it's her. But he'd rather not know all those details right now—he prefers finding them out gradually. And besides, he'd rather see Sollux's face while he's giving him his number.

"It's fine, Nep. I'll just catch him the next time he comes in or somethin'." If he does. It took nearly a year for Aradia to bring him in the first place—what if it's another year before Eridan sees him again?

But at least now he knows Sollux is a person that exists. Even better, his best friend's girlfriend's best friend's girlfriend is Sollux's best friend. He could probably come up with some convoluted way to end up hanging out as a group with them and actually end up spending a significant amount of time with him. That would be nice.

"It'll be okay, fishy," Feferi says soothingly, rubbing his back. "I'm _shore_ he'll come back. I think he was looking at you when we were singing," she adds.

He half-smiles at that thought. That would be nice, actually—if Sollux noticed and liked what he saw, anyway.

The flashing light for last call goes off and they, along with the other bartenders, begin locking up the booze. Sales are officially closed for the night, meaning that technically, half of them can go home once cleanup is finished. They won't, though. They're a close-knit group at The Hive, with the line between patron and employee blurred. They're almost all friends, and he knows Feferi is going to hang out with Nepeta until close, meaning he stays too—he and Feferi carpool to and from work. He'll probably end up driving Nepeta home, too, since Aradia and Equius aren't here to give her a ride back anymore.

Resigning himself to a bisexual girl and a lesbian making out in the back of his car, he hops over the counter with a rag and begins wiping down tables. Karkat is still playing music—he'll continue until three, when they finally close for the night—but it's still slow and there's only three or four couples on the dance floor, pretending they're at a middle school dance. Eridan hides a yawn behind his hand and hums a Radiohead song under his breath.

He catches sight of Kanaya leaning up against a pillar, looking cool and put together despite the fact that her lower dark-painted lip is between her teeth and there's a crease between her eyebrows. Her red skirt is tight and hugs her legs through her calves, but her top is black and loose and the sleeves forcefully remind him of Morticia Addams. He has a feeling she wouldn't be offended by the association, though.

Her dark gaze is fixed firmly forward, toward Karkat's booth, but she's staring without seeing. He's seen that look before, but not on her face. She looks melancholy and he immediately wonders about his boss. "Hey, Kan," he calls. "You okay?"

She blinks and seems to mentally shake herself. "I'm fine, thank you, Eridan," she says. She brushes her bangs back and walks away.

As he suspected, Feferi and Nepeta climb into his backseat and he shakes his head in exasperation but smiles anyway. "Where you kids headed?" he asks. "_Casa de pescado_ or _casa de gato_?"

Feferi huffs at him. "My place, loser. Don't be mean."

He heads off to Feferi's house. It's less than three minutes before Nepeta is sitting in her lap and the two of them are making out, nearly falling to the floor.

"I'm gonna request that seat belts stay buckled up, okay?" he jokes, not that either of them hear him or acknowledge him. He doesn't mind, though. Feferi has been in a lot of shitty relationships before she began to date Nepeta, and she genuinely seems to care for her, so as long as they're both happy, he'll let them mack on each other in the back of his car. They're not hurting anything.

He gets back to the apartment he shares with his brother after dropping the girls off in front of Feferi's apartment building and making sure they get back inside safely. Cronus, his brother, is already asleep in his room—he knows Eridan always gets in late and is used to the odd hours by now.

He tosses his keys onto the kitchen counter and goes right to the bathroom. He strips down, showers, and contemplates shaving so he doesn't have to do it in the morning, but he rather likes the artful stubble and decides to leave it, at least until Monday. He doesn't look good with a beard or else he wouldn't ever shave, but a few days gives him the perfect hipster look.

He gets out of the shower, towels off, wraps the towel around his waist, and goes to his bedroom. He'll be up in a few short hours for breakfast—he can already feel the gnawing of hunger pangs starting in his stomach, but he ignores them for right now. He's still fighting yawns and knows he'll probably be unconscious in a few seconds.

He crawls under his covers and wonders if Sollux is thinking about him. _Probably not._ It doesn't bother him that much, though. He'll figure out some way to make himself unforgettable.

* * *

Eridan wakes up to his alarm blaring Daft Punk at him. He's used to only getting a few hours' worth of sleep; his body has adjusted to falling asleep at three-thirty and waking up at nine. He rolls out of bed, yawns, and pops his back. Rubbing his eyes, he stumbles to his closet and grabs the first things he can reach: dark jeans that are a bit looser than the style he normally wears, a black T-shirt, and a blue sweater with twin violet zigzag patterns across the chest in a way that could almost be considered garish. He doesn't care, though—it's his go-to sweater when the weather is a bit cool.

And it is. As soon as he sets foot out of the apartment, he's greeted by a blast of cold air that makes him grateful he put on the sweater. His hair ruffles unapologetically in the breeze and he runs his fingers through it, wondering if he should go back inside and gel it, and then he decides he doesn't care. It's not like he's going to run into anyone important.

Vons is nearly empty when he wanders in ten minutes later and begins poking around the frozen section for something akin to breakfast food. He has plenty of options in terms of Eggos and Jimmy Dean breakfast bowls and other similar food, and his stomach growls in hunger and irritation, reminding him of the old adage that one should not shop for anything on an empty stomach lest they get a whole bunch of crap they don't want. Eridan wonders if it's an evolutionary tactic.

Through the open glass freezer door, he catches sight of a figure out of the corner of his eye and looks, curiosity getting the better of him, and when he recognizes him, his heart skips a beat. Is he dreaming? Looking just as sleepy and lost as him in the same hoodie as last night (but fortunately different jeans) and a bleary gloss in his eyes is Aradia's friend Sollux.

If he hoped that daylight would make him look less adorable than last night, he would have been extremely upset because he looks just as cute, if not more so. It's almost distressing, and part of Eridan wants to crawl into the freezer and hide until Sollux wanders away but he knows that's stupid. _Talk to him, talk to him!_ he tells himself, but he can't think of anything to say and just stands there staring like an idiot.

Abruptly, Sollux looks up from examining a box of breakfast croissants and puts them back, a strange look crossing his face as he looks straight ahead of him. After a moment, he turns his head, looking toward Eridan, and his expression upon seeing him shifts from confusion to shock.

And now Eridan has been caught staring. _Too late to hide now._ Playing it off like nothing, he grins and waves. "Hey! Sol, right? Ara's friend?"

At the sound of his name—or at least half of it—Sollux even more surprised, but he smiles tentatively. "Yeah. You're Eridan, right?"

"Yeah, that's it. I gotta say, I really didn't expect to see you here this mornin'," Eridan says, closing the freezer door. "Ara around?"

Sollux shakes his head and adjusts his glasses. Eridan suddenly notices that one eye is brown and the other is blue. "She's at the apartment. I'm, ah, just out on a food run. She's not feeling so hot this morning."

"Hangover?"

"She says no, she was already feeling sick before we went out last night, but I think it's a bit of a hangover." He half-grins. "What's with that sweater?"

"This?" Eridan looks down and the temptation to say, "It would look better on your bedroom floor" is nearly overwhelming, but he checks himself—barely. "Ain't nothin' wrong with it." Sollux's eyes haven't left him once, he notes with no small amount of satisfaction. Even if he's not interested, he notices. Eridan finds himself subtly closing the distance between them and Sollux fully turns to face him, one shoulder leaning against the freezers. "You jealous?"

Sollux lets out a snort of laughter. "Hardly, prince. Purple's not really my color."

No, it definitely wouldn't be—Eridan can tell at a glance. Purple would make Sollux look sick—he's too blond and pale for it. Then again, purple probably isn't Eridan's best color, either, but it doesn't stop him from wearing it.

"So what are _you_ doing here?" Sollux asks.

"Food run also. Just for me, though. My douchebag older brother is still asleep, I think."

Sollux nods and buries his hands in his hoodie pockets. Eridan immediately recognizes the body language of someone who wants to keep talking but doesn't know what to say. Fortunately, his own puzzle sponge has started to function. "So how long was Ara tryin' to get you to come to The Hive before last night?"

"Heh. A few months, actually."

"Did you like it?"

Sollux looks down at his shoes for a moment. Eridan looks, too. They're mismatched, one white and one black, and he wonders if it was intentional. "Yeah, actually. I liked it a lot."

Is it just Eridan's imagination, or does Sollux look directly at him when he says that? Throwing caution to the wind, Eridan smirks and says, "Anythin' in particular you liked?"

To Sollux's credit, it only takes him a second or two to recover from the blatant come-on, and when he does, he blushes but manages to say, "Are you _flirting_ with me?"

Eridan flashes his most winning smile and sidles closer so there's less than a foot of space between them. "Why? Would you like me to be?" He knows he's coming off as a bit of a tool, but if Sollux reciprocates, it will be worth it.

And apparently, he _does_ reciprocate, because a moment later, more quickly than Eridan can process it, Sollux takes a short step forward, his hands coming up, catches his face, and brushes his lips against Eridan's. All activity in his brain screeches to a halt, replaced by a pleasant buzzing as his eyes close and one hand floats up to grab onto the collar of Sollux's hoodie. It's nice to not have to focus on anything except the way Sollux's lips feel against his, the hot press of his mouth, and he drinks it in.

Sollux moves closer, bringing their chests flush together, and brushes back Eridan's bangs. He changes the angle, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. Eridan's lungs burn—he doesn't think he's inhaled since they started kissing—but he'd much rather continue than interrupt the mind-numbing rhythm.

And then he feels cool air against his face and he realizes Sollux isn't kissing him anymore, hasn't been for at least two seconds, and the fact that it takes him that long to realize it's over clearly has Sollux amused. He drops his hand from the other boy's hoodie.

"So I take that as a yes," Eridan says, acting like his brain was working the whole time. "See, I was just gonna give you my number, but then you went ahead an'—"

"Don't even act like you weren't thinking about doing the same thing," Sollux says with a grin.

"Yeah, okay, I _was_, but I at least had the decency not to instigate somethin' at a damn grocery store."

"You saying I started something?"

"Fuck, yeah, you did. I'm gonna finish it, though." He grabs Sollux by his jacket and kisses him again, and yes, they're still in the freezer section of Vons, but it feels so damn good to even be kissing Sollux that he'd probably make out with him in front of the pope. Besides, he's started to run his fingers through Eridan's hair and it sends a pleasured shiver coursing through him and he's really glad he decided not to gel his hair this morning because there is no way it would feel this nice with it.

It feels like they're on the same frequency, their mouths moving in sync against each other's, Sollux's lips parting as Eridan begins to trace his tongue along them. Eridan's heart pounds when Sollux lets out the softest, shakiest moan he's ever heard and his knees threaten to give out, but they're holding each other up and there's some scent lingering on Sollux's skin that he can't place, something achingly familiar (he smelled it last night, driving the idle attraction into a far deeper lust), but he knows he likes it. It's turning him on and driving him crazy all at once, and he wants nothing more than to shove his hand into his jeans and start rubbing himself—although upon further reflection, he decides he'd be agreeable to doing the same thing to Sollux. It's only the insistent voice at the back of his head reminding him that they're in public that keeps him from doing just that.

He pulls back a half an inch to breathe, "I got a pen an' paper at my place." He grins. "Y'know, so I can give you my number." He deliberately ignores the fact that he, at least, has his phone on him, and he expects Sollux does, too. They don't even need to move from this spot, but that's beside the point—he's offering and hoping the other boy accepts.

Sollux looks briefly confused before comprehension dawns on him. "Always prepared, huh?"

"I definitely ain't a fuckin' Boy Scout."

"What about your brother?"

Eridan scoffs. "That fuck-wagon an' his boyfriend have woken me up more times than I can count. Honestly, if he cares, I'd call it revenge."

The blond thinks it over for a minute. "AA can wait," he says with a grin.

* * *

Less than fifteen minutes later, they're stumbling back into Eridan's apartment, not really paying attention to where they're going. They hit a wall and Eridan takes that opportunity to unzip Sollux's hoodie and run his fingers under his T-shirt. They haven't been able to keep their hands off each other for more than a few minutes at a time, which suits Eridan just fine.

He pauses for a moment to judge that no, they haven't woken up Cronus (at least that he can tell) before grabbing Sollux's hand. "C'mon, my room's this way."

Sollux follows behind him, running his free hand under Eridan's sweater as they go, and Eridan has to fight to keep himself focused on the task at hand. He groans softly and grabs the doorknob to his room. His brain spins and he figures out how to flip this around so he's not the one feeling like he could fall apart any minute. He turns them both and presses Sollux back against the door, capturing his mouth again. The taller boy lets out a small squeak and hooks his fingers into the waistband of Eridan's jeans to keep himself upright.

He teasingly grinds his hips against Sollux's and just as he starts turning the doorknob to let him in when he hears another door creak open. _Shit!_

Eridan turns his head and locks eyes with nineteen-year-old Kankri Vantas, his brother's boyfriend (Eridan thinks Cronus is too old for Kankri—he's twenty-four and sleeping with Karkat's younger brother, but according to The Rule, he is still _technically_ of acceptable dating age). Kankri blinks in surprise, but before he can say anything (and Eridan is positive he's about to, mostly because the only time he ever shuts up is when—in the elder Ampora's words, causing Eridan to wish he had brain bleach—Cronus's cock is in his mouth), Eridan twists the doorknob, shoves Sollux inside, and slams the door behind them.

"Who was that?" Sollux asks, looking like he's trying not to giggle. "Brother?"

"No, brother's boyfriend. We dodged a bullet with my quick thinkin'—once he starts talkin', it takes a train wreck to get him to stop."

Sollux actually laughs at that, and Eridan smirks, pleased at having made him laugh. "So, anyway, where were we?"

"I think you were just about to push me onto that bed and ravish me," Sollux jokes. That sounds good enough to Eridan, so he does just that, shoving Sollux onto his bed and helping him out of his hoodie. Their glasses come off next and end up on his nightstand in a tangle of trembling fingertips, and then Sollux is able to tug off Eridan's sweater and toss it to the floor, which he minds for about a half a second before Sollux starts sucking on his neck. Then he lets out a dizzy moan, one hand running through the blond's hair and the other sneaking up his side, under his T-shirt.

Sollux pulls back long enough to wiggle out of his shirt and throw it aside. Then he looks up at Eridan and there's a strange look in his eyes, one he can't quite figure out, and he feels everything slowing down. "You okay?" he asks. "We don't have to do this if you don't wanna. I mean, if you're not comfortable—"

Sollux shakes his head. "That's not it. It's just... last night, I didn't expect that someone as hot as you would actually like me."

Eridan grins and runs his fingers through his hair. "You think I'm hot?" he asks, knowing full well that he _is—_he just likes it when other people tell him. He loves the attention.

"Fuck off," Sollux says with a grin, bringing him down for another kiss.

Eridan chuckles against his mouth, and then everything else is forgotten as the other boy gives one quick rock of his hips against Eridan's, and then another, and he exhales sharply and grinds his hips down, Sollux's stiffening cock definitely noticeable against his. Eridan is moving on instinct, unbuttoning and unzipping Sollux's jeans and rubbing him through his underwear. Sollux moans and gives an involuntary thrust into his hand before he reaches for Eridan's jeans as well.

His free arm nearly gives out when Sollux slides his hand right into his boxers and starts stroking him. He bites his lip to hold back what he's pretty sure would be a porn-worthy moan, but he thinks, _So that's how we're gonna play it._ He pulls down Sollux's jeans and underwear and the taller boy shifts to help him. He stops with the waistband halfway down his thighs, finally freeing Sollux's cock and making it much easier for him to start jerking him off.

Sollux lets out a high whine and his rhythm falters for a second, but he pulls himself together and pushes at Eridan's boxers until his own dick is out, and it's all downhill from there. Sollux's whole body is radiating heat; it's rolling off him in waves, from his hair to his fingertips to his dick in Eridan's hand and he can't keep himself from touching him. He wraps his fingers around both of their cocks and it feels like Sollux is burning, but it's lost in the silky sensation of their skin sliding together and Sollux whines again, dropping his hands and grabbing onto the duvet. "Yeah... _yeah_," he pants, his eyes closing, and he thrusts into Eridan's fist. "Faster... _fuck_...!"

Eridan wants to think of something clever to say, but his higher brain functions have temporarily shut down. He can't focus on anything but how Sollux looks lying on his bed, how he sounds when Eridan flicks his wrist, how he smells that has his pulse racing and his head spinning, how he tastes (Eridan can still practically taste him on his lips, in his mouth, on his tongue, and he's thirsty for more), how absolutely _right_ Sollux feels against him. He's enjoying this far too much to be healthy.

Sollux is moaning softly but steadily, his fingers threading through Eridan's hair, and Eridan wants him so badly it's a physical ache settling into his stomach. More than anything right now, he wants to flip Sollux onto his hands and knees and pound into him until he screams his name and (presumably) wakes up Cronus in the process (just because Kankri is awake doesn't mean Cronus is, too), but he's too close right now. All of his thoughts are starting to dim out and he knows it'll only be a few more seconds until he comes, and that's fine—Sollux is whining in his ear, a quiet litany of _faster, just like that, ohmygod, please_ and Eridan can tell he's close, too.

He comes first, half-shouting the first syllable of Sollux's name because it's all he can gasp out before he collapsing against the other boy's chest, but Sollux follows a second later, fisting Eridan's hair and riding out his orgasm, his body shaking from effort. Finally, his grip slackens and his fingertips begin tracing invisible patters into Eridan's scalp, and his whole body feels simultaneously heavy and light.

"I forgot to get breakfast," Sollux says abruptly.

"Huh?" Eridan lifts his head from Sollux's chest.

"For AA. I was going out to get her breakfast." He grins sheepishly. "We have to go back to Vons."

* * *

Sollux's neck is covered in hickeys by the time he fits the key to Aradia's apartment into the lock. Eridan insisted on driving him from the store to her apartment complex so he didn't have to walk the three blocks back by himself (he could have taken Aradia's car, but he felt like walking), which Sollux certainly wasn't about to object to, but it culminated in a ten-minute make-out session in the back of Eridan's car. The two of them have an insane amount of sexual chemistry—he can't figure out why, but the bartender seems to be completely infatuated with him—but he isn't going to complain. It's been awhile since anyone actually liked him.

Of course, it's been almost two hours since Sollux left, so, as he suspected, Aradia is both concerned and irritated when the front door finally swings open.

"Sollux Elaine Captor, where have you been?" she demands from her bedroom.

"Sorry!" he calls into the apartment. He clears his throat. "It's... a long story."

She emerges, her hair disheveled and what passes for her pajamas (an oversized black T-shirt that he suspects originally belonged to Equius and a pair of horse-patterned boxer shorts he is absolutely certain belonged to him at one point) rumpled. "It better be good," she grumbles. "Food?"

"Yeah." He hands the plastic bag over as a peace offering. Inside is a box of Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches on croissants, her favorite. (She doesn't eat them very often anymore because Equius is a vegetarian and whenever they spend time together, which is often, she adopts that habit.)

"Good, good," she says, her face brightening. She heads to the microwave, unwraps one of the sandwiches, pops it on a plate, and sets the microwave for five minutes. "So tell me this story."

"Um... so, you know that bartender from last night?"

"Eridan?"

"Yeah, him."

"Of course I remember him."

"And remember how you were saying you thought he was flirting with me?"

"Yes..."

"Well... I ran into him at Vons."

Aradia looks instantly more alert. "And?"

"And... we, uh, went back to his apartment and... fooled around a little?"

She blinks at him, her face deceptively neutral. "Gonna need a little more than that."

"We didn't have sex or anything! The pants stayed on... technically," he adds quietly, but he's sure she catches it, "and he even had his T-shirt on, but, um, cocks came out and there was a lot of rubbing and anyway, we both had fun." He pulls at his hoodie to give her a better view of the hickeys, which she was apparently too tired to notice until he pointed them out.

She throws out her hands as if to shake his shoulders. "I fucking _told you_!" she crows triumphantly. "Are you gonna see him again?"

"Probably." He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a folded-up, torn-out sheet of notebook paper. "He gave me his number."

Aradia practically dances around the kitchen for the next two minutes until her sandwich is done. Sollux decides that the next time Aradia wants to take him somewhere, he'll go with a lot less complaint.

* * *

**So The Rule I referenced is that you take your age, halve it, and then add seven, and that's the youngest you can date. Cronus is 24, so 24/2 is 12 + 7 is 19.**

**There will probably be eight more chapters of this but I think the Erisol portion is finished. Other ships: RoseMary, GamTav, VrisJade, and either Meenah/Aranea, Meulin/Kurloz (Meulin is FtM, so I really want to do that one), or JohnDave. Or DirkJake. Or CronKri. Or flushed (but nonsexual) Cotton Candy. Don't look at me.**

**Gotta ship 'em all!**


End file.
